I read my son's blog posting from last night and my heart kind of sank.
He expressed experiencing an emotionally low time to the extent of wanting to find a place to hide and cry. I'll tell you, as a parent, it makes your heart hurt. More so, because while he is still my "little boy," he isn't a little boy anymore, he's grown to manhood.
I hate to see him down. I know God is there keeping him, but as his dad I don't like to see him going through difficulties. On the other side of the coin I know that as a father (or a mother, which may be even harder because God has made the mother's heart to nurture) sometimes we have to let our kids learn how to not just endure or persevere, but continue to learn how to overcome in difficult times and circumstances. Ugh! And meanwhile our heart breaks.
One of the things that has been difficult as our children have reached and are reaching this stage of life where they are entering adulthood is to know how to encourage them without mothering/fathering them, but rather befriending them. It doesn't sound so difficult, but it can be. A gentleman (curious servant), whose blog I've read parts of, posted this comment on AME's blog site: "The tough part of parenting is the process of making ourselves unneeded. Step by step, preparing them to be self-sufficient." It is well said and I think we have done a fair job of doing so, but that doesn't keep us from wanting to be needed and depended on when we see our children hit those tough spots.
What God affords us in these times is the ability to better see His heart toward us, His children. In Matthew 7:11 & Luke 11:13 Jesus said that if we who are evil know how to give good gifts, how much more will the Father in heaven give good gifts (Matthew); give the Holy Spirit (Luke)...
Our Father wants to and does bestow good gifts on us. At the same time He will allow us to endure difficult times because He knows that the end result will be good.
So I must learn to apply this lesson to myself as a father: I want only good for my son and my daughters, so I must learn to trust what the Father is desiring to work in their lives and be disciplined to absolutely prohibit myself from getting in the way of His Perfect Plan for them.
One step further, I must see, recognize, and believe that my Perfect Father has that same heart for me.
If I am going through an emotional low, a time of difficulty, or any trying time, the heart of my Father God is caring for me, his son, even more than I for my son. And from God's perspective concerning me, "as a parent, it makes your heart hurt. More so, because while he is still my "little boy," he isn't a little boy anymore, he's grown to manhood."
- Yours in Christ Jesus
4 comments:
perhaps i need to print CS's words so i can keep them ever in my mind - he is wise through his humility.
ugh, i feel the stab in my stomach and am doubled over. it is SO hard to be a parent! sometimes we want them to know so they understand, but then we know they're not ready for the weight of *knowing.* someday they will know ... i imagine it will be just as difficult for us then, too - to watch them experience the *knowing* with their own children.
you and kerry are such an incredible gift to chris. he can rest well at night knowing his dad and mom are covering him before Almighty God; knowing he will always have a foundation in you and that you will never rip it out from under him - that it will always be strong and firm.
i went to college when i was 17, and not having cell phones back then, i was not able to get phone service until i turned 18, so i had to wait until my parents called me to talk to them. but they rarely called - maybe once a month. i cannot imagine going a whole month without talking to my girls at any age!!! when i did talk to my parents, they filled me with more strife than peace and comfort. i have to build up strength just to communicate with them even now (so i rarely do).
chris will never have to worry about such things. while your heart is aching and you're pouring your son before the throne of God, God is lifting chris up and caring for him, and chris is living with a foundation that will never be broken in your strength on your knees and in your marriage. such gifts are incalculable, of infinite worth ... and, truly, enough.
that you and kerry have created an atmosphere where chris can come to you from the depths of his heart - that is amazing, incredible, and extremely comforting - like he continually rests in your arms of love and strength. through the journey of parenting, you two have done a great job!!!
Ame, thank you yet again for the kind and encouraging words. It is honestly and truly only the grace of God.
He alone is our strength and hope.
Thanks, Papa. :) That was a really good post. (And I'm glad you're finally starting to see things my way! I kid, of course. Mostly.) In all seriousness, I'm actually really starting to look forward to walking through some of the challenges you describe. I know they're a long time away - a very long time away, most of them - but in seeing you walk through them, in seeing a friend of mine who's 26 just be so incomparably excited about his four-week-old son... I look forward to the day when I have children of my own.
Just so you know: I'm doing better. Last night was just one more frustration piled on top of a long and trying day piled on top of a trying evening the night before. Lots of good, yesterday, but also long and trying, and it just wouldn't end. Yet God is faithful, and will not allow us to be tested beyond what we are able, but with the temptation provides a way of escape so that we may bear under it! And He has and is and does. I'll talk to you soon. Love you.
Oh, and pretty picture!
This was well written, well--expressed.
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