Okay. Here it the tough part. If you're a guy, you're never supposed to admit to an emotional meltdown even if it happens. You're just supposed to suck it up and go on. Put on the tough guy act. Keep a straight face. Keep it all hidden away inside. Maybe yell and scream at the sky when nobody is around to witness it, or find a way to expel the emotions via extreme exertion of physical energy. But never, ever let anyone witness the ultimate act unbecoming of manliness by losing it emotionally, much less confessing it. Well, I'm about to blow it big time.
Yesterday was the day that everything REALLY hit me. All the stresses of the last week really found me while I was at work. God had raised me up, given me hope, given me strength and encouragement for others and myself. He has been so good to me. Yesterday though all the stuff just caught up and it was time for me to be able to let it go. Not to minimize God's faithfulness in any way; He was with me all the way yesterday too. But emotionally I just felt like a train wreck had run through my life... and along the way I popped off a terse email to my son expressing my frustration about some things he had recently shared in an email... It was NOT GOOD!
Fortunately, my son was forgiving of my poor judgment, but we still have some things to work out.
I melted down...
God picked me back up, put me back together, set me on my feet again, took my hand and said, "Now, son, come walk with me and I'll show you how and where to walk." And He has set things back aright in my life once more. I get to deal with the difficult circumstances of my actions, but that is my Father's grace for me and He is sufficient.
That is my confession. I do the best I can and yield and submit to my God as well as I am able and He is faithful to work out the kinks in this fallen, sinful man that He sent His Son to redeem. I am and have been redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus Christ. I am washed whiter than the snow, but every once in a while, I need my feet washed. Thank You Lord!
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3 comments:
It's tough as a man, particularly in our generation, to admit that you have those deep emotions that sometimes just need to come out. The thing we must all learn to do is let them out in a way that doesn't blow others away. I think that is a lifelong process. I am grateful you are learning to express those emotions in a healthy way.
it is difficult to deal with emotions especially the heavy ones like anger, sorrow and so forth. A lot of us don't really know what to do with them. This is just an observation but a lot of americans aren't really that good with expressing true or appropriate emotions as oppose to expressing opinions. I know this because I find myself spending more time talking about what I think than what I feel about certain things whenever I go to counseling. It is okay to be upset or sad especially if there is a reason to be. It's hard to learn how face difficult feelings when we live in a culture where invaliding feelings is the way to minimize and avoid suffering. Guys are not the only ones dealing that tho. I am having a hard time expressing the difficult feelings myself. Hope this gives some insight. It's worth 2 cents. Didn't mean to make it too long tho.
:)
humanity ... reality ... mercy ... grace ... forgiveness ... love ... the place we are called to live :)
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